A question of confidence
How many times have you heard someone say, 'Oh, I'm completely tone-deaf?' Ask yourself, ‘What are they actually saying?' 'Who told him or her that was what was wrong?' Most of all ask yourself, 'Why did nobody help?' Sure, it might be an excuse not to join in - a bit like a reluctant cross-country runner. Fair enough. If someone chooses not to sing, ok, but so many times this is said by people who really do want to sing - witness the 'loosened' up wedding guest when the karaoke machine appears.

It's never too late to try
A common undiagnosed problem is that children who have suffered ear infections early in life ('Glue ear') have often missed out on what is now recognised as a critical phase in their development, but that doesn't mean they can't 'rewire' at a later stage in life. There's plenty anecdotal and researched evidence to say that it's never too late at least to try. It is better though if you can do something about it sooner rather than later.

Singing strategies
So if you're the one dealing with children; teenagers; adults who can't find their notes what can you do? Sounds obvious perhaps, but just keep at it - it will happen. You sing the note and let the child copy. Make it a game. Get them to help each other. Pair up ones who can with ones who can't and hope it's the positive that rubs off! Don't single out any child unless they really want to go solo. Absolutely do not go round the group listening to individuals and telling some to 'be quiet' (trust us, it happens) - or for that matter, to 'sing up'. 

If they can hear you speak, then they can hear you sing and they will find your note eventually. Mostly, the problem is that they haven't had the chance. Until you came along, probably no one has ever asked them to do it.

Sirening
One thing that works and you might like to try is getting them to 'siren' it . Get them to find a note just higher than their speaking pitch (if you can work it out). Then you sing one a bit higher and ask them to make a long continuous upwards sound like a warning siren - starting low (always) and rising until it hits yours on the way up. Stop them, when they arrive at the right note and say well done! Have another go and then another and another until they can see what placing a note feels like. Don't worry if it sounds like demented singspiel. In fact, don't worry about anything at all, just keep at it. It takes some doing especially with self-conscious and unwilling teens, but try to remember what Ghandi said, 'First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win'. Just insist.

Critical accompaniment
Nothing wrong with unaccompanied or 'a capella' singing but it takes confidence and experience. So initially, another thing that helps -apart from your singing with them - is the support of an accompaniment (well, we would say that wouldn't we - but it's true!). It doesn't matter if it's a piano, guitar, or harp, it can be anything that can provide a reliable reference point for pitch (make sure it's in tune).

Don't be persuaded that untuned percussion is a great idea. It will just make already poor intonation execrable for you (and for listeners at the end of term concert) It's just a distraction. Leave it in the cupboard for later when their pitch is more secure. Don’t let it re-appear until then. Ignore the protests. Just resist.

Get practising
In terms of suitable material, when they do begin to feel more confident, start simple and get it right before you move on. Nursery Rhymes can work for all age groups. Try simple well known hymns, work songs or sea shanties. If you're mindful of multi-cultural or heritage issues, try Ode to Joy sung to 'La'. Go for the tried and tested favourites rather than 'of the minute' material. There's a reason for why they've lasted and there's a better chance that they will be recognised and reinforced at home. Ignore the protests. It will come right. Just persist.

Image by kind permission of Reut C